Example of analysis of an argument essay: score 1
Last updated: 13 Oct 2008
The following is part of a business plan of an investment firm:
"Studies indicate that the average person exercises less as he gets older. At the same time, the number of hours a person spends watching television tends to increase as he ages. Since the percentage of senior citizens in the population will increase over the next two decades, we ought to, therefore, consider selling our shares in Runrite shoes in order to increase our investment in the Worldwide Television Co."
Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. In your discussion be sure to analyze the line of reasoning and the use of evidence in the argument. For example, you may need to consider what questionable assumptions underlie the thinking and what alternative explanations or counterexamples might weaken the conclusion. You can also discuss what sort of evidence would strengthen or refute the argument, what changes in the argument would make it more logically sound, and what, if anything, would help you better evaluate its conclusions.
It's impossible denying evidence of population's ageing, what occours underline is the business and geographical border.
If the business is focused on the shoes I have some doubt on the suitable choice.
We have few information about this firm.
First of all, if it is a shoes firm and its market is not global an advice could be increasing the R&D area, improving confort of products, basing on the past experience and launching a new marketing campaign attracting the new users.
Change completly the business is a challenge. It need considering other competitors who are able to move quickly securing best position.
I think that the best way to operate is the first and the fidelity to brand is one competitive advantage to exploit.
Comments
This essay receives a 1.
Seven sentences do not make an essay. What that means is that this essay is far too brief.
Worse, the grammar, spelling, and word choice is bad enough to severely interfere with the author's meaning.
The author definitely knows something of business, which make this essay a shame because the arguments she makes (as far as we can understand them) are good ones.
Our advice: read a variety of magazine articles in English, and practice writing in English.
