Example of analysis of an issue essay: score 3
Last updated: 13 Oct 2008
"Money is the root of all evil"
Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the opinion above. Support your point of view with reasons and/or examples from your own experience, observations, or reading.
Whether money is the root of all evil is quite a debatable topic. Some people may argue that money itself is not the root of evil but it is just the means of causing it. But I tend to think otherwise. I think all the causes ultimately boil down to money.
It is a well known fact that if we consider the number of crimes committed we will find that we can find most of them originating from the poorer areas of the city. The whole problem is the uneven distribution of resources and it is the root cause of all emotions which encourages an individual to commit crimes.
If we look at the evil at a higher level. The corruption by government officials in which even people like Presidents of countries are involved. How can you explain the actions of these rich people? It's quite simple actually. The more money you have the more you want it.
Similarly if we look at other crimes like terrorism. How are they committed? Some individual somewhere in the world has strong feeling against something. But that is not enough to do whatever he wants to do. It is made posible by money. That way he can raise a big army of poor misguided people who would do anything for money. Again the cause here is money.
Taking all these arguments into consideration it can be concluded that money is the root cause of all evil. But we cannot do away with money as it is a necessity in modern life. So some alternative measures have to be taken to counter this problem.
Comments
This essay receives a 3.
The English is adequate, the essay is organized, but the essay fails to convince. The conclusion, in particular, is weak. The author completed this essay just over 15 minutes.
Our advice: Take more time, come up with some great ideas and examples to back up your ideas, and you could bring your score up to a 5.
Return to the analysis of an issue tutorial or go to an essay scoring 1 2 3 4 5 6
